Womb Man Has Expanded My World

I’m blown away.


Since reading Womb Man: How I Survived Growing Up in a Booby-Trapped World, there are several more dear friends  who have shared their own, similar story with me.  (I sent the manuscript to about a dozen beta readers whose feedback I treasure because they always tell me the truth–the good, the bad, and the ugly).


These are friends who, if I’d been the inquiring kind–more curious and less incautious–I might have pegged as especially kindred because, now that they’ve spilled the beans, I immediately recognized, “Of course!” 


But, until they told me outright, I wasn’t any the wiser. (Make no mistake: You have friends, relatives, and loved ones like mine, too. They probably just don’t know you well enough to feel comfortable telling you the most intimate details of their lives for fear of judgment…or worse.)


I’m going to publish just a few of their comments without identifying them, because I’ve struck a chord here–which is exactly what I hope to do when I write any book… but I certainly wasn’t expecting this!




“I feel fine being a woman now, especially at the age where I really don’t give a damn anymore, but I was never a ‘girl,’ and wondered why dresses and dolls and doing each others’ hair and dating had no attraction for me. As an actress I could glam it up, but uh, couldn’t play the role offstage. I am def. bisexual, but dysphoria about the between-the-sheets stuff got in the way of building a true love life. So I am thrilled to dancing that you are saying what you’re saying and saying it in this way.”




“Hey, Kris, I just re-read your [back cover copy] and recalled my own moment like that.
“I was 36 and on staff at a holistic education camp (workshops, spa, conferences, yoga, etc). One of the classes that staff could attend was Basketball Basics. We were learning how to set our arms and hands to shoot a basket.
“I set mine, and the male instructor said, ‘You’ve got a nice cock there.’
“My inner release and relief were completely unrelated to basketball and I was shocked to realize how long I had been yearning for somebody to say that to me. Exhale!
“There’s something very real and important about acknowledging the positive masculine self that lives in women (and expresses more overtly in some than in others) and the positive feminine self that lives in men (ditto).”
 “I’ve been married twice, the first time in (year). We had children, then my husband left me. Spent many years alone bringing up my children. Met (another man) and married. We have no children together. I met his best [female] friend_______. She had children too, and had been cheated on.


“[My husband’s female friend] fell in love with me during our first meeting, and for more than two decades now we’ve had the most amazing relationship. The physical side of my marriage died years ago, but with her it has gotten stronger. Even in my 60s I experience the most amazing love I have ever had and never dreamed possible.


“She has read your tome, too, and was blown away with your writing. She loved the 98% factor of loving that you mentioned and agreed with it. But don’t write off that 2% [a sexual relationship]! People don’t fit into the boxes that others think we belong in.


“Custom make yours to suit your heart, and find love.


“Women make amazing lovers, if I am any judge. But if I ever lost her I wouldn’t  go looking to replace her; when you’ve had the best, you don’t want the rest!


“So Kris we all have a story. I am so very happy. I would love you to find a love, too. Perfectly happy can be a nice state to be in [but] fully contented is absolute.”



And here’s a quick anecdote of my own that didn’t make it into Womb Man:


I wrote several pieces of copy that a particular client clearly loved. Each time I presented a piece he’d beam (a grin that lit up his entire face)– and exclaim,”You’re a stud!”

His comment remains one of the fondest memories of my lifetime…


I guess that if writing Womb Man has showed me anything, it has showed me how far from alone I’ve always been without knowing it. (Unwarranted shame is a painful separator while calm, measured declaration is a bold, beautiful unifier.)

I hope reading the book offers the same solace and support to everyone who reads it, and to everyone who receives it as a gift…

That was certainly my goal when I set out to bring it to life!


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