FOREWORD
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
--Gospel of Thomas
If your dream career isn’t big enough to feel “scary special,” it probably isn’t the right career for you.
And because it’s scary to you, you might be able to imagine (although imperfectly) how scary it can be to the people around you, especially the ones who have loved you longer and more passionately than anyone else: your parents, grandparents, siblings, best friends, and others.
Among a parent’s fondest dreams for their offspring are health, safety, a stress-free, well-funded lifestyle, happiness, a wonderful marriage … and perhaps eventual grandchildren. (Yeah, it ends up being a lot about them in the end, since they poured so much of their lives into raising you!)
Some parents (and other adult influencers, like teachers) have additional goals for kids: a career in sports, law, medicine, science, technology, engineering, math…
Still other parents—whose opportunities for even limited middle class success have been seriously circumscribed by pervasive, white privilege policies that limit financial success to just a few celebrated “overcomers” (Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama, sports professionals, musicians, actors, etc.)—can feel utterly relieved when their kids choose a career that appears attainable under the present regime; something good enough and available enough to ensure a modicum of financial success without the additional static of hearing clueless whites bellyaching about “affirmative action” or “uppity notions.”
No matter who your parents are, and which life goals or fears they’ve expressed to you, remember one thing: they love you. They aren’t trying to be bullies or dream-stealers.
My mom told me one time, “It’s a mistake to think mothers are pregnant for just nine months. When you have a child, you end up being pregnant your whole life. Suddenly, your heart beats in another person’s body. You think about them for the rest of your life, in big ways and small, even when you’re no longer responsible for their life choices or their day-to-day safety and comfort.”
That said, parents can become naysayers. In fact, they’ve been excellent naysayers for most of your life, helping you figure out how to navigate life without getting yourself killed.
“Don’t touch that. It’s hot!”
“Don’t eat those berries, they’re poison!”
“Be careful! Hold on tight! Don’t fall off!”
“Don’t go so fast—if you fall down, you’ll hurt yourself and end up in the hospital, or worse!”
“Look both ways, lots of times, before you cross the street.”
“Are you sure that’s a good choice?”
“If a police officer stops you on the road, keep your hands on the steering wheel, no matter what, and be polite and deferential.”
So, yeah… naysaying comes with the territory!
Remember to be kind and understanding to the naysayers in your life. Just don’t let them derail you from the dream inside you that will not die.
Your dream is burning there for a reason. Honor it!
Kris M. Smith
April 2, 2019