When Life Stinks, Think ‘Tink’

When life stinks, I think “Tink!”

 

A lot of people are depressed right now.

 

There’s plenty to be depressed about…

Plenty to be angry about…

Plenty to be tired of…

 

There are no easy answers.

 

Personally, inter-personally, politically, emotionally, spiritually… sometimes life can just really suck!

 

There are individual answers that work for some people but not for others…

 

Today while at lunch with two dear friends I shared one thing that works for me pretty reliably, but not always. The good news is that I always find my way back to it following a prolonged emotional dive that wrings me out and leaves me in despair.  (Despair, defined, is “the complete loss or absence of hope”).

 

I simply steal some quiet time to reflect on the eternally undamaged me–the person I was during my youngest years when I wasn’t aware of people looking over my shoulder and judging me, aloud or silently; the years when I didn’t know how troublesome, problematic or seemingly unrewarding life can be due to society’s marginalization of women and other cultures, people of color, and other factors.

 

That effervescent little imp still survives in me. Every time I’m down, discouraged, depressed, or unhappy, I take a moment to reach down and acknowledge my unperturbed essence.

 

In my mind’s eye, my unperturbed, undamaged spirit is a being along the lines of Tinkerbell (for lack of a better metaphor).

 

‘Tink’ is the light inside me that dances,  flies, sings, laughs and lives life as a thrilling adventure, even when there’s a ticking crocodile and a Captain Hook breathing down my neck

 

‘Tink’ reminds me that, of all the planets in our solar system, ours is the only one sporting abundant life. (If this single, irrefutable fact isn’t a wonder and an immense cosmic privilege, you’ll have a hard time convincing me of it!)

 

And there is so much on our sphere that we humans can’t even see, hear, taste, smell, touch or discern in any other way without special equipment.

 

But there are cetaceans that can hear for hundreds of miles and bounce sonar off objects to identify them in deep down, pitch black ocean surroundings.

 

And there are  canines that experience life through incredible scents and sounds we can’t even discern.

 

And there are other entire nations of beings, animal and human, with rich histories, backgrounds and legacies that fill tens of thousands of books and enrich billions of lives.

 

And humans are the only species on this big blue marble with the intellectual capacity to ponder our responsibilities to the life forces who depend on this ecosystem and with the physical ability to decide the fate of everything that presently flourishes (or barely ekes out a living) here!

 

So yeah… it’s a daunting thing to think about, especially since far too many people in positions of political and financial power are laser-focusing on how to siphon off the cream and keep it all to themselves while the rest of creation tries to survive on the dregs. It isn’t looking good. Our story doesn’t seem to be unfolding in the way an intelligent species would expect or want it to, does it? It really stinks!

 

And then there’s the personal.

 

The “What kind of legacy will I leave?” stuff.

The “Have I wasted my life?” stuff.

The “Why doesn’t anybody seem to care about me, or think much of me?” stuff.

The “I feel invisible, marginalized, like excess unwanted baggage…” stuff.

The “Why am I even here?” stuff.

 

‘Tink’ knows better.  ‘Tink’ never fails to remind me that my legacy is entirely up to me…and that it’s entirely do-able! Nobody else really has much say in the matter.

 

So what do I care if no one else cares? I’m the only one who has to care to make my legacy happen.

 

Everyone else is busy building their legacies, and they sure didn’t consult with me before they started. If part of their legacy is ignoring or marginalizing me, it’s their loss; not mine.

 

If they want to include me in their legacy (or in their life at all), fine. If not, fine.

 

The people who are in my life want to be here. I didn’t twist their arm. They’re my tribe…my treasures!

 

My attitude is, “Care or don’t, but here’s where I’m going with my legacy.  I don’t need your permission or applause. This is what I gotta do. This is how I’ve decided to spend my life. This is what I’m planning to leave as my chief legacy.”  (In my case, it’s the hopeful, helpful, haunting words I publish in blogs and books and the riveting copy and content I write for my clients.)

 

‘Tink’ (my undamaged, effervescent, eternal essence) is the only ‘dyna-mite’ I ever need to break through the barriers that stand between me and what I want. I’m delighted to have ‘Tink’ as the essential part of me.

 

I  have a hunch there’s a ‘Tink’ in everyone. It just takes settling down, quieting your mind, recognizing the amazing opportunity that living life on this amazing planet is (or can be) and then turning yourself loose to live your own amazing adventure.

 

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My next book BECOME SHAMELESSLY, FEARLESSLY YOU: How to Stop Hiding in Plain Sight has lots of helpful information and exercises in it to help you cement your legacy in place. It’ll be out within the week. Settle for Best: Satisfy the Winner You Were Born to Be, one of my earlier books, can help, too…