My Transgender Life May Begin in a Few Months

With any luck at all, I will be given the go ahead to have my breasts removed before the end of the year so I can enter the new decade looking like the guy I have actually been all my life. I have never been more excited about anything in my life than I am about this.

 

Today I went to see my Primary Care Provider and finally told her I’m transgender by handing her my book Womb Man: How I Survived Growing Up in a Booby-Trapped World.

 

Wait! Let’s back up a little. I’m getting ahead of myself, but that’s just because I’m excited.

 

The conversation didn’t start out that way, and I have no doubt it was a big surprise to her. But I was ready, and planning, to have The Conversation, so I carried the book into the office with me.

 

The visit started out because I was called and asked to visit her again for my annual blood panel screening to see how well my medications are working (warfarin and levothyroxine) and how well the rest of me is working.

 

I told her I have been exercising four days a week, two hours at a time, and have lost 20 pounds in about ten months. She said that was great.

 

I agreed, except for one thing: I was already packing around about 15 pounds of loose hanging skin, the result of having lost more than 125 pounds in 1977 and 1978 as a result of intestinal bypass surgery (for morbid obesity), some of which I had gained back over the years as my thyroid went south, but now that I have lost another 20 pounds, “I look like a freakin’ sharpei when I’m naked. NOT a pretty sight!”

 

To make matters worse, now that I’m older, my skin regularly breaks down in the areas where it drapes over itself: under my pendulous breasts and along my inner thighs. I asked if Medicare and my supplemental insurance would cover breast removal and a tummy tuck/excess abdominal skin removal; she said she had never heard of them doing that.

 

I pondered, “Even though the excess causes my skin to crack open and ooze?”  (I felt pretty sure that would qualify as a sufficient medical reason to have it done.) (I know: TMI. But the truth is the truth! No amount of bathing cures the malady; only a prescription creme helps, and never for very long…)

 

She shook her head, not really knowing the answer.

 

So, that’s when I decided to fess up. (I had wanted to have the surgery without divulging my transgender status if I could arrange it, because I wasn’t sure how well she would take it. Some people are bigoted or in denial about transgender people, and I really didn’t want to lose her as my PCP because I adore her; she has always listened and done right by me!)

 

So, I said, “Okay, here it is. There’s another reason I want the surgery. In fact, the primary reason I want the surgery–in addition to the fact that my skin is starting to fall apart and is driving me bat-shit crazy–is that I’m transgender. I have never felt like a female and I hate my boobs with a passion. If you want the full story, here it is (handing over the book). And if I need a gender dysphoria diagnosis from a counselor, I know one who will give it. She read my book and said, ‘Yes, a textbook case!””

 

She hardly batted an eye. She said, “That changes things. There is someone right here in this clinic who is a transgender advocate and provider. I’d be happy to make you an appointment with her. You can discuss your options with her. I think Medicare and your supplemental may cover at least your breast removal, given your status.”

 

And she made me the appointment right on the spot. I go see her on September 10th.

 

While I was waiting for her to come back, her assistant (who had been in the room when the conversation took place) and another woman (I think the transgender provider’s assistant) both re-entered the exam room I was in and said they want to read my book, too.

 

I said, “That’s great! I don’t know if I have extra copies with me, though… I’ll have to check in my  vehicle.”

 

They said, “Oh, no! We’ll just read Holly’s copy; she’ll share! We just wanted to let you know we’re eager to read it!”

 

I said, “Oh! That’s fine. That’s great. Share it with the transgender provider too. It’ll be a good intro before I see her in September.”

 

“Oh, we will!”

 

When Holly came back, she asked me, “Have you written other books?”

 

“Oh, yes, lots of them. But only one on this topic– at least, so far!!”

 

How’s that for  welcoming, full-throated acceptance and a nonjudgmental attitude?

 

I shouldn’t have worried about sharing my status with my primary care provider. She was about the only person I hadn’t shared it with. How dumb is that?

 

She had answers for me that I didn’t even anticipate and, as a result, I feel like I’m about to have an early Christmas that will be better than any Christmas I’ve ever had in my life!

 

Free at last, free at last, thank the medical profession, I’ll be free at last of these obscene, eternally loathed boulders on my chest… and now I can’t wait!!!

 

People wonder if I’ll “go all the way” and take T and get bottom surgery, too. Definitely no on the T. I know I’d go bald fast if I did that, and I wouldn’t like that. I like my hair!

 

As to the bottom surgery… I haven’t decided.  I’m likely too old to start romancing and looking for a life partner … and besides, I’m awfully fond of my solo life, so I wouldn’t be much of a catch! I need my space–lots and lots of it!

 

If I were a teenager or young adult, though– oh, heck, yes, I’d go for the total package! I wasn’t as set in my ways then as I am now. I would’ve looked for a life partner.

 

I’m so glad today’s youth and young adults don’t have to go through life alone, feeling like one-of-a-kind aliens, or feeling ashamed of being different (LGBTQI). They are very lucky to be young now, for this reason (and maybe for this reason alone…)

 

                                 

 

Juxtaposed images by Lisa Twining Taylor for my book WOMB MAN

(The last one was rendered after the book was published, so it isn’t in it.)

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