Got My Complaint-Free World Bracelets

My purple Complaint-Free World bracelets arrived in the mail a couple of days ago.I put one on immediately and felt a shift in my consciousness when I did it. Now if I have a complaint (I really don’t have a lot of them, thankfully, being a peaceful, grateful person at base) I work to find a way to make it a request rather than a complaint.

 

But I’ve already failed once–in a HUGE way!!!!

 

In fact, I had to apologize to a dear friend yesterday for pushing back following a repeated complaint that discounted a decision I made–and had backed up with a purchase–which didn’t agree with the prevailing assessment as to what needed to be done to restore my disabled vehicle to fully functional.

 

Although the purchase didn’t solve the problem, as the others gathered around the hood of my SUV had clearly predicted, it was long past time to replace the battery in my 2005 SUV. The auto parts store tested it and confirmed its debilitated condition (and the CSA felt pretty sure it would be the solution I needed since the battery tested all but “dead, Jim”) and–after all–it had served me commendably for 12 long years.That has to be a freaking record. I was astounded when we pulled it out and saw it was the KIA battery that had come with the 2004 purchase of the vehicle!

 

So I did replace it…and the complaint continued, with my friend second-guessing the integrity of the CSA who tested the battery, reiterating the battery wasn’t the issue, etc. After what I considered too many iterations of essentially the same intolerant, tormenting tune, I finally just flatly (and inelegantly) complained myself, in essence demanding that the complainer knock it off! (What I did made sense to me, whether it solved the existing problem or not. I didn’t consider it a misbegotten purchase.)

 

I apologized for my outburst as soon as I could (without others discovering that we had argued). What I said could have been delivered as a less-testy request and the results would have been far superior to causing an escalation and a proclamation: “I don’t deserve that!”  (Only too true. Another person’s behavior shouldn’t dictate mine. I’m just not yet accustomed to finding sentiment-neutral words to state my requests when something gets under my skin in a big way.)

 

Complaints cause others to feel attacked. Requests seek correction only. Requests don’t promote passive-aggressive responses.

 

So the author of A COMPLAINT FREE WORLD is right when he states that wearing the bracelet also reminds the wearer how often the people we’re with complain about things they can’t or won’t change. Suddenly I’m more aware when a complaint is uttered by anyone! Griping about “the way things should be” as opposed to the way they are wastes valuable time and energy that can be better spent talking about elevating, energizing, wonderful plans and ideas.

 

So, for example, when anyone is upset by the present political situation (and who isn’t, other than the oligarchs, plutocrats and corporations that the present policies are serving?!), the best thing to do is adopt and work hard for workable strategies that will, over the next few years, change the way business is done in D.C. and other legislative areas.

 

Bernie Sanders has done this brilliantly–critiquing what’s wrong and clearly stating what needs to change without making enemies of most of the people he still needs to work and negotiate with in D.C. as a prominent and much-loved Senator and chief change agent. (The entrenched powers-that-be who know they’ll lose many of the perks they’re receiving when progressive policies are enacted are already enemies; Bernie has added no new enemies, and that’s one of the goals: to unite as many people as possible so governments clearly reflect and respond to the voice and concerns of the people.)

 

In sharp contrast, ceaselessly bashing and alienating people against those in D.C. whose responsibility it is right now/in situ to create better solutions while swimming in current polluted political waters  doesn’t advance the cause–it just reveals utter contempt and the heart of a malcontent, which is no way to win friends and influence people to join one’s cause. Who wants to  hang with cranky, demeaning,  sadistic naysayers, online or off?  Only like-minded people! The rest of us will head screaming for the exits, looking for more upbeat, positive, pro-active activists to hang with.

 

So bashing and trashing is just influencing the people who already agree with us–which is a significantly smaller percentage than we would otherwise have on our teams!  This kind of strategy simply doesn’t attain the desired result. It doesn’t work! Bernie Sanders knows that. So I have a problem with it, because we need to win this thing BIG. Making it harder to win is not a solution!

 

As mentioned in my first blog post about A Complaint-Free World, noticing when we’re working against our own best interests starts with realizing how freaking often we complain in ways that solve nothing, or solve them badly or belatedly.

 

Life will become a lot easier, I expect, when we find ways to interact that enhance the lives of the people we interact with rather than causing them additional discomfort, discord and dissonance.

 

I never said it was going to be easy. I just know it’s going to be worth it!

 

I have a feeling there will be a lot more room (space) between utterances as I re-calibrate ways to make my needs known without complaining.  It’s going to take some getting used to–but as I get better at it I think the folks I hang with will “catch the wave” and agree that it’s a better way to move forward; if not, we’ll probably separate (by degrees) and end up living in very different worlds: one filled with complaints and unsatisfactory results, the other filled with improving situations and the people we love to be with.

Every time we open our mouths, write something down for public consumption or share a meme, we’re voting for one or the other kind of existence.  That’s something well worth thinking about… so I’m thinking a lot about it these days and doing my part, now, to make my presence, online and off, as kind and considerate as I can.

 

With the Complaint-Free World strategy, instead of taking two steps forward and one step back, the trajectory can be forward, forward, forward all the way getting us where we want to go faster than ever before.

 

And that will feel mighty good!