Amazing Dream About Hugh Jackman

I just had an amazing dream about Hugh Jackman.

 

I think I need to meet Hugh Jackman!

 

Seriously!!!

 

Don’t ask me why.

 

I know next to NOTHING about him.

 

I’ve seen perhaps three of his movies (Les MIS, THE GREATEST SHOWMAN and THE FRONT RUNNER are the only ones I can recall seeing). Most of his stuff is Wolverine-type stuff, I think, which I also know nothing about, but seeing him with swords or whatever  as a part of his hands in previews repelled me. It looks like a violent drama…not my kind of movie. (I’ve never seen or read the comic books, so I’m completely in the dark about the character.)

 

This feels like the same kind of thing I had with DeForest Kelley after I’d met him (briefly) the first time for scant moments during the Wenatchee Apple Blossom Festival Parade in 1968. The dreams that followed that meeting were persistent and familial–like we were destined to be soul mates. And you already know how that turned out unless you’re just discovering me here for the first time!

 

I don’t use the term “soul mate” lightly. It isn’t a sexual term, or even a romantic term, to me. I’m transgender! I don’t get worked up thinking about attractive men in the way I expect cisgender women (experienced or not) do.

 

This just feels karmic or spiritual or (again) familial, somehow.

 

Let me tell you about the dream.

 

I was in a room when Hugh Jackman strode in. It felt immediately as though I knew him, and had for years (actually, forever…eternally).  As if we’d met before and were dear friends. He definitely knew me!

 

He approached me with a big, fond grin. He was across a shiny mahogany table (I think it was mahogany) from me.

 

He slid a wad of $100 bills across the table to me and said, “You’re screwed now! You’ve been ‘nominated’ to enter a dance contest tonight!”

 

I looked at him and his eyes and heart radiated, “With me!” (I understood that the money was for my part of the entry fee to get into the contest, so it was a high-profile, significant contest. Well, with Hugh Jackman, what else would it be? Waaaay beyond my ability to afford it, even if I’d  wanted to enter it!)

 

I immediately slid the money back across to him and said, “Not on your life! No way!”

 

His face fell. His eyes filled with tears, but he was still smiling, trying not to take the rejection personally.

 

My thoughts were, “I’m a terrible dancer. I hate dancing. I feel on display. I feel clumsy. I feel completely out of place.”

 

But I also recognized that it appeared to him that I was rejecting him as a dance partner!

 

I quickly negotiated my way around the table to tell him, “Thank you. I mean it. I love you! But I just hate everything about dancing…” (I didn’t say, “except feeling close to someone,” which I probably should have said to correct his sense of rejection, but that would have sounded like a come on, and our relationship wasn’t like that…).

 

He took me into his arms. It felt like a De hug, only a little more intense. (Less fatherly. I did recognize Hugh’s manliness in the dream.)

 

I said, “I’d do almost anything else with you. Water ski. Climb a mountain! Really! I’ll even come watch you dance. I would love that!”

 

But I knew he wanted to dance with me. I just couldn’t convince myself to do it!

 

I woke up…

 

And I’ve been trying to analyze it.

 

My first thought was, “Was that a romantic dream? Am I attracted to Hugh Jackman physically? If I am, maybe I’m a bisexual transgender being!”

 

Alas, I knew it wasn’t sexual. It was way beyond that. It was more like what I felt about De, but it wasn’t that, either.

 

It was like I was inside him, seeing and feeling my rejection the way he saw and felt it. Like I was an empath of sorts. I recognized his desire–and it wasn’t sexual. It was relational and loving, but far more ethereal than “I want to jump your bones”!

 

Again, I know nothing about Hugh Jackman. I’ve only seen him in an interview once, years ago, on an OPRAH show when she was Down Under in Australia and he descended to her stage on a type of high wire across a lake from the Opera House and smacked into an upright pole at the bottom, hurting himself and freaking Oprah out.

 

He just laughed it off, saying something like, “I was having so much fun, I forgot to apply the brake exactly when I was supposed to!”

 

I thought at the time, “That’s a class act. It’s obvious that hurt!”

 

I remember nothing else at all about the interview. It was the collision I recall, and how he responded to it.

 

That’s the sum total of my knowledge about Hugh Jackman!!!

 

But there you have it. It feels like I’m supposed to meet him. There’s something there. Something kinda prophetic. A sort of tractor beam like I had with De.

 

It’s just the weirdest damn thing!

 

What do you make of it?