To the Person Wondering Why I Wear Pro-LGBT-Branded T-Shirts

There is a certain segment of the population that doesn’t want their “noses rubbed in” the fact that there are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people living in their communities.

 

They’re the ones who will spot a pro-LGBT t-shirt and frown, scowl, look the other way, avoid eye contact, and remove themselves from the wearer as fast as possible without making themselves look obviously intolerant or offended.

 

But it’s obvious to me (and to anyone else who’s paying the least bit of attention) that they’re deeply bothered by the appearance of a pro-LGBT t-shirt and its wearer.

 

How do I know this? I’ve been wearing pro-LGBT t-shirts out and about recently. And I’m delighted to report that most people just smile and nod when they read them.

 

The ones who don’t appear profoundly uncomfortable.

 

At the Pride Tacoma event I bought a t-shirt that reads “This is what trans looks like.” (Although I have never transitioned medically or chemically, I am transgender–a man in female form.) I consider the shirt educational. Not everyone who is transgender transitions for various reasons–often due to cost and/or the reality that even expensive, state-of-the-art FTM transitions aren’t 100% satisfactory yet.

 

A few days later I bought three more pro-LGBT t-shirts. They read…

 

“Treat others as if they may save your life one day…”

“I’m the rainbow sheep in my family” and

“The only ‘choice’ I ever made was to be myself.”

 

One of my sisters went to a musical (I think it might have been La Cage Au Folles) about two gay guys. She was fine with the play until they kissed at the very end. She told me, “I wish they hadn’t done that. I don’t need to see that…”  (No one needs to see displays of affection. But they happen a lot in plays, movies, TV shows, and in real life. Kissing and holding hands are part of our culture!)

 

So yes… I’m living with anti-LGBT sentiments within my own family. It’s very common. (I watch GLEE and tear up every time two people of the same sex kiss. To me it’s every bit as precious as when straight people kiss each other–in fact, even more so, because it’s so rare–almost unique–to see LGBT characters behaving like real human beings who find themselves newly in love.)

 

I know that a lot of people feel as my sister does:”Yeah, I know it’s out there. Just don’t rub my nose in it.”

 

These are probably the same people who are wondering, “Why do you have to wear your beliefs on your chest?”

 

How else can we identify our tribe–or communicate to others that they’re safe with us?

 

I simply don’t know any other way, short of brandishing a megaphone–which could be deemed super offensive, I suppose–along the lines of zealous evangelical Christians who stand on street corners and castigate passersby at the top of their lungs with such pleasantries as “If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, you’re going to hell!”

 

Are Seattle Seahawks jersey-wearing fans, or favorite band t-shirt wearing fans, or Christians wearing their branded garb, or Star Trek garb-wearing fans intent on “rubbing my nose–or yours– in it”?

 

No! They’re audaciously declaring their allegiance to particular fandoms so others who feel the same will know and feel free to engage.

 

That’s all I’m doing, telegraphing to my tribe that they’re safe with me and that I’m a visible advocate; that I will (and do) stand up for them at every opportunity. I’m acknowledging and celebrating gender diversity—making the reality of our presence visible, so no one who’s LGBTQI ever needs to feel alone (as I did as a teenager and young adult) or to hide themselves away as if how we feel, live, act and love is somehow shameful or taboo…

 

Marriage equality is the law of the land.

 

Love is love.

 

Hallelujah!